The town of Masham in North Yorkshire is one of the very few in the UK to have never had a documented UFO sighting, much to the chagrin of local Ufologist and undertaker Jacob Ransdale.
To combat this, Mr Ransdale has opened an intergalactic tourist information centre in the hope of attracting them.
“Masham is a blooming great town and I think if visitors from other galaxies would just give it a chance, they’d find themselves pleasantly surprised.
“We’ve got two working breweries and we have the sheep festival in September which is always very popular.
“I mean bloody Thirsk had one last year, a proper triangle being chased across the sky by the RAF – why won’t they come here? We’re miles better than sodding Thirsk.
“All they’ve got is that the bloke who wrote All Creatures Great And Small comes from there and they’re always banging on about it.”
If any inter-galactic visitors are intending to add Masham to their itinerary, Mr Ransdale respectively ask that they avoid the first two weeks in June as he has a holiday in Torremolinos booked.